Raising Changemakers: Talking to Children About an Uncertain Future

This piece draws on an article originally published as "Raising Changemakers" on Tooled Up Education's Wednesday Wisdom, 22 October 2025.

Earlier this year, my eight-year-old paused while looking at images of hurricane damage. Eyes wide, he asked: "Will we get hurricanes here, Mummy?" I felt a familiar twinge — the urge to protect his innocence, to keep things simple. But he already knew the weather was changing. I studied atmospheric physics at Oxford, and even there I learned that weather systems are chaotic and hard to predict, as is human behaviour. So I told him the truth as best I understood it: probably not as bad as elsewhere, but the weather is changing, and I don't fully know what that means for us. We looked up safety measures together. He seemed satisfied — for now. But I know it's the tip of the iceberg.

These are the kinds of questions I hear echoed by teenagers in Climate Psychology Alliance youth support spaces: Are we going extinct? Should I not have children? Why have the adults done this? Overwhelmingly, young people tell us the same thing — they can't talk about this with parents or peers, because "they don't get it." Talking about what's really going on, it seems, has become taboo.

The problem with false comfort

In schools, teachers often tell me they feel unqualified to field these questions in a class of thirty, even if they had the time — which they don't. Many reach for "focus on solutions" and "give hope." I understand the instinct. But hope that things will simply stay the same does young people a disservice. The old script — good grades, university, stable career, house, family, retirement — no longer holds the way it used to, and children know it.

The pace of change in climate, ecology, AI, and geopolitics means uncertainty is here to stay. What I want for young people isn't false reassurance. It's the skills to move through a genuinely turbulent time and help build something better on the other side — closer to a 'thrutopian' vision: neither dystopian nor utopian, but honest about the difficulty and about our capacity to get through it together.

Telling the truth is liberating

When my son later asked, "Will war come over here? Would we have to move house?", I felt the same dread — the wish to shield him completely. Instead, I told him it was possible, that I hoped not, and that whatever happened, we'd handle it as a family. I asked how it made him feel. "Scared," he said. "Yes," I told him, "that makes sense. The scared feelings come and go. We can still enjoy life and feel scared sometimes. I'm here to help."

There's a simple rule of thumb in child development: if children are asking the question, they're ready for some kind of answer. Providing honest, age-appropriate truth — rather than avoidance — helps children trust the adults around them, and makes them less susceptible to the soothing simplicity of denial narratives online.

Climate psychologist Caroline Hickman compares this to seedling growth: children need "just enough grit to grow." A little hard truth, held in a nurturing environment, builds strong roots. A seedling that never faces wind and weather never develops the strength to withstand a storm.

Support starts with the adults

Good support for children starts with our own capacity to stay regulated. The psychological principle of containment holds that a child's feelings can only be processed in the presence of a calm, attuned adult — we have to fit our own oxygen mask first. That means doing some of our own inner work: developing awareness of our own climate feelings, so we're not too overwhelmed to hold space for theirs.

When difficult feelings surface, I come back again and again to the Gottman emotion coaching approach:

1. Notice the emotional reaction — in the child, and in yourself.

2. Listen to and validate what's being said.

3. Label the emotion.

4. Set limits if needed.

5. Problem-solve together.

In practice, this might sound like: "Yeah, it is unfair. I understand why you're angry. I wonder what might help here — do you have any ideas?" rather than jumping straight to reassurance or correction.

Action helps — and doing it together helps more

Research consistently finds that when young people perceive adults and governments as inactive, their eco-anxiety worsens. Visible, practical steps — flood prevention, home insulation, involving children in real decisions — show them the problem isn't being left for their generation alone to solve.

Even small shared activities matter: a walk to spot fungi and talk about interconnectedness, a compost jar to explore decay and renewal, a symbolic 'letting go' of a worry into the earth. When young people have real input into the action taken — choosing, implementing, seeing outcomes — they build the self-efficacy that prevents both despair and burnout.

We can raise a generation of genuinely resilient changemakers. It starts with being honest with them, and with ourselves.